Triggers

trig·ger (trgr)

n.

1.

a. The lever pressed by the finger to discharge a firearm.

b. A similar device used to release or activate a mechanism.

2. An event that precipitates other events.

Anyone who has ever sufferend any type of trauma in their life knows the tangible definition of this word. It isn't that thing on a gun that causes it to release a bullet at the speed of sound or the mechanism that activates a bomb to explode and level everything in its path ... although it kind of is.

This word, trigger, has a two sided meaning to us. It is a mechanism that activates a bomb (usually one we never saw coming) to explode and level everything in our path, killing a piece of us - or at least temporarily wounding us.

Pinpointing our triggers can be incredibly difficult, for they usually appear without warning. Anything from a smell to a movie to an article of clothing and even an album cover can cause the trigger to fire. Identifying your triggers is the first step - or at least recognizing them.

I know that certain triggers for me are a belt, the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding" and even someone walking around with a pocket full of change. I am immediately transported back to that time and place where life was awful and I was empty. When I would cringe as the sound of jingling change came closer and closer from the hallway, into the bedroom, and eventually next to me - opening the door of his hellish pleasures and slamming closed the door of my innocence.

No matter what your triggers are or how steemingly harmless they appear to the outside world, they can be devastating ... it's taking the time to work though them and accept them for what they are - meaningless, harmless things that we can overcome.

Does this mean I have done this? HA! I still cringe at the sight of that belt - and when I see someone wearing it all I can picture is the asshole's face as he swings it though the air quickly followed by that unforgettable feeling on my backside, legs, and lower back. Even now...