Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Originally the idea behind this was for me to have a place to release all of my thoughts out into the  great unknown - not knowing where they might land was and is part of the excitement...but as time moves on, I am realizing my life is not all about what happened to me ... About rape and molestation (yuck I said it). I am complex! I am creative! I am so much more than a victim - and I hate to say it - but yep - I'm a survivor (cue Beyonce!).

Oh I haven't always felt this way and I can admit that there are many days where I don't feel that I deserve a strong title like "survivor". Sometimes I feel like I should wear the title of "chicken shit" and hide under my covers until the boogeyman disappears.

(This is so true for me!)

 I'm learning each new day is just that - a new day. If you screw it up, there's always tomorrow ... as long as you give yourself the chance to fix it tomorrow. It has been difficult for me to accept believe accept that this statement is true. I almost didn't give myself the chance of tomorrow. I know how hard it can be to wake up - to not live in constant fear - to not freeze or run away in fear everytime the asshole makes another appearance in my life ... I'm learning ....

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